MadLibs with a 6 year old

are awesome!

And yes, it is from the limited edition Napoleon Dynamite Book. 

Precocious Art Critic?

Erin (getting ready to do an art project):  What can I draw you?  I can draw people!
Brian: Draw me the Mona Lisa.
E: What does she look like?
B (looks up the picture on his phone): There!
E: Wow. Why is she smiling?
B: …….  !

LIfe, the Universe, and Everything

Tonight's discussion hovered around the new supernova discovered in the galaxy M82.  

So, of course we discussed what a galaxy is, what it is made one - planets, stars, black holes, etc. 

Erin: A galaxy is where, like where we live, goes around and around, all the away down to the center, and that's where the black hole is. 

Robin: MOOOOMMM!!! DAAAAD!  When are WE going to see a black hole ?!?!?!?!?!?!

Robin, Zen Master

Last night when going to bed, Robin asked me:

"Mommy, what comes first, the daytime or the nighttime?"

Just a bit of Life, the Universe, and Everything before bedtime

Last night, just after Brushing and Flossing, and before starting Snuggly Reading Time before Lights Out.
E: Mom, what is at the end of space?
M: Well, some people think at the end of the universe there's the edge of another universe.  And at the edge of that, another.  Like a bunch of bubbles.
E: Ohhhhh.... that's great! Because then the aliens are in the different universe.
M:  Maybe.  But some people think that at the end of our universe, there's nothing.
E: (with fearful look)  But then, noooooo.  Then that means the aliens are in OUR space.

Busted!

I had just starting a bath for the girls when I notice Robin is being quiet. Very quiet.  I come into the kitchen and she's trying to scurry away, and is making her "I'm being sneaky" face. 

There's brown all around her mouth, and there's a wad of something brown and gooey in her mouth. 

Me: Robin, what do you have in your mouth? 

R: Nufin (mumbled through the crumbs of chocolate cake)

Me: Well, you're chewing something and you have brown all around your mouth.

R: (gulping down the last of the bite.  And by gulping down, I mean choking it down her throat. And opens her mouth to show me) See!  Nufin. 

Me: Mmmm hmmm. I see. 

Note to self: chocolate cake must be stored in a place higher than the reach of a child on top of the kitchen counter. 

Life, the Universe, and Bedtime

I'm totally paraphrasing this.  Brian was on bedtime duty tonight. Somehow they got on the subject of how the universe was born.

"Dad, was Earth born from another Earth, or was it adopted from another Earth?"

Brian went on to discuss the supernova (or -novae) that created the elements from which Earth was made, the accretion disk, the birth of the sun, and the creation of Earth.

Erin's response:

"Hey, Dad? You know a lot about space."

Robin's Recipe

Mama, I want some cold ice water.

 With ice.

 And water.

 In a glass.

 Please.

Outsmarted by a 2.5 year old - again

I caught Robin picking off an entire bunch of grapes, throwing them on the ground, then stomping on them.  OK, I know it's really fun for a toddler/preschooler because (1) the grapes bounce and (2) they feel really interesting and squishy under the feet.  But c'mon.

So I asked her to clean them up with me and got a grin and another grape stomp.  Rather than totally loose it, I sent her to her room for a minute.  I told her to stay there for a minute, and I shut the door so I could gather my thoughts.

A few seconds later I hear crying, fake crying, and "Help, help!  There's a fire in here!  Help!  There's a fire!"

Robin 1, Mommy 0.

Erin M, Forensic Biologist

So, as you've read, we dug up Steve so he wouldn't be lost.  We noticed his skull was a little broken - just under one eye socket was broken, the bottom jaw was broken into two pieces, and the nose was a little broken too.

I apologized to Steve for not being more gentle when digging him up.  Yesterday, Erin was showing the bones to Brian in the morning (he was away on his regular PDX work trip when we did the digging project.)  I came in and said again how I was sad I'd broken his skull.

Erin took a deep breath.  Deep.  She said,

Mom, maybe you didn't do it.  When Steve died, he got smooshed by a car.  Maybe the car broke his eye.  Maybe that's what happened. 

Siri, Meet Robin

Robin was eager to talk to Siri, so I let her.

What Robin said:

Set the timer for three minutes.

Siri's translation:

I don't know what you mean by, "Set the time that to ornamented I love call a cab pop."

Guess Siri doesn't speak toddler.

Lemons And Seeds

Erin was squeezing some lemons for me, to make juice for a recipe.

E: Mom, there's a seed in the lemon!

A: Yes, but we can just fish them out later.  Don't worry if they get in the juice.

E: Mom, but there's a lemon in the seed.

A: What?

E: There's a seed in the lemon, a lemon in the seed, then another seed in the lemon. . . .

Robin's Bad Dream

Robin started crying at 7 this morning. I went in to soothe her, to try to get her to sleep a little longer. She started talking.

 "I wanted the big ice cream! I wanted the big ice cream but they were all out!" 

 She was not quieting down, and I was curious so I asked her about the ice cream.

"I blowed the candle out and there was a little ice cream. I wanted the big ice cream, there was the one with sprinkles. The lady with the green shirt ran out of the big, pink ice cream, the one with the little sprinkles."

File under "D'oh!"

I looked up a Manatee documentary to download on our TIVO.  I thought since Brian is in Vegas, it would be a fun, special dinnertime movie for the kids. So I call him,

Me: Hey, can you tell me your Amazon passcode so I can download a movie?

B: Um.... well, I'm at a Hacker's convention.  Probably not a good idea to tell you over the phone.

Duh.

Robin Rides, Erin Instructs

There's so much going on in this movie, I won't spend time talking about it. Just will tag it with a bunch of things and let you enjoy!

I love you a mole

E: "Dad? How much you love me?"
B: "I love you more than Avogadro's number."
A: "'I love you a mole.'"

Happy Mother's Day!

This morning, Robin settled into drawing.

A: Can you draw me a dog?

R: No, I don't know how to draw a dog.

A: How about an elephant?  Can you draw an elephant?

R: No.  I can't draw an elephant.  All I can draw is a lobster.  See?  Here, mama.  I draw a lobster for you.

May your Mother's day be filled with Lobster!

Potty humor - round "2"

A: (checking in on Robin who has been working on the potty) Did you make a poo-poo, Robin?

R: Yeah.  I made a whole poo-poo family! See?

(points and shows off her work.)

(Flushes)

R: Bye bye, poo-poo family!  See you later!

Such is the excitement for a newly potty-trained, highly verbal 26 month old.

Potty humor

The children have somehow synchronized their bowels. When Erin feels the urge, she says, "C'mon Robin!  It's time for a poo-poo party!"

Apologies to the future 16 year old Erin.  This is too funny not to share.

Intimate conversation

When getting this morning, I pull out some bras that went into hiding when I was pregnant with Robin.  I put on a beige T-shirt bra with some embroidered flowers.  Kinda plain, but a step up from my typical supportive tank or sports-type undergarments.

Erin looks up*.  Her eyes get wide.  She says, astonished, "Mom, you have FANCY breasts."



* note to non-parents: having a small child means nearly never getting dressed, showering, peeing, or eating without some little person either in your lap or in extreme proximity until they age to about 8ish.